Posts Tagged ‘humor’

Romantic Dinner

Posted: August 9, 2011 in Story
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 One day I decided I wanted to plan a romantic dinner for my wife and myself. So the first thing I had to do was find a way to get her out of the house. First thing you need to understand is my wife doesn’t drive not that she doesn’t know how. We only have one car since I totaled hers a while ago, but that is a story for another time. The car we have is a 5 speed manual shift and she can drive a stick.

So when I want to do something romantic I have to have someone help me out. We have this friend who is a great friend and always tries to help us out. She is one of those friends everyone should have. So me and this friend we will call Emily (because that is her name) start emailing each other trying to set up the plan. We finally get the details of day and time worked out so she calls Angela and tells her that she wants to pick her up go for a walk with the dog. Angela agrees. Emily is going to pick Angela up around 4:30 on Friday.

On Wednesday Angela and I go to the grocery store and I am buying the ingredients I need. I buy some ground beef, spaghetti noodles, Italian bread, spaghetti sauce and so on. So we take the groceries home and put them away. She has no clue what is planned which is just the way I wanted it, she thought were just going to have spaghetti on night.

Friday comes around and I get home from work and Angela is at home, she doesn’t work on Fridays. She “REMINDS” me Emily is coming over and they are going to go out for a bit. I wine a little bit and ask her what I am supposed to do while she is gone.

Emily arrives. She and Angela leave heading for the park.

It is on now time to cook. I wait a couple of minutes to make sure they didn’t forget anything. Then I start getting everything out. I start cooking, while also preparing the table and all. We got new dishes for a wedding gift, so I get them out and wash them.  I put a table cloth on the Kitchen table get some candles out, and set the table. Let’s just say it look NICE!

I get the salad going cutting up veggies, put them in bowls and place them in the fridge until it is time. I finish the spaghetti. Now all I need is for Angela to be there. So I send Emily a message saying I am ready.

When Angela arrives she walks in and says “You’re not getting lucky.” Then she noticed the dinner I made for her. I walked her to the table and she sat down.

“How did you know when Emily was going to bring me home?” and “How did you know Emily wasn’t going to come in the house with me?”

I told her Emily was in on it, but it took awhile for her to grasp what I was saying. I think I surprised her that much. I then started serving the meal. It tasted really good. We ate and talked and just had a really good time. I love doing little things like this for her. I love attempting to spoil her because she deserves it.

She told me about the funny things Emily was saying while they were out. She said Emily kept saying things like “Are you hungry? I’m not I already ate.” Then she asked if she would like to go to the book store Angela was like yeah so they took the dog home and then Emily was like I am tired I am just going to take you home, because she got my text.

I tried this again a couple of weeks later, with different food. It didn’t turn out as surprising to her. I think she knew the whole time what was going on. Now she is looking for the flaws in the stories. I am going to have to find a new way to surprise her.

My man card

Posted: March 13, 2011 in Story
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So yesterday I was told that my man card was being revoked by 2 separate people. This is all because I went to a Lady Gaga concert.

My wife and I bought 3 tickets to her concert one for my wife, one for me, and one for a friend. So my wife and her friend go out and buy special outfits just for this concert. The day of the concert my wife is puking and running a 101 degree temperature and her friends daughter just got out of the hospital. So now we have 3 tickets to this concert, a concert I didn’t even want to go to.

So I start calling everyone I know trying to find some people to go see Gaga with me. I find my step brother and my wides other friend. So we head out and drive to Louisville, KY.

We get there and I am amazed at the costumes that the people are wearing. It was cool, and something I didn’t really expect. I also didn’t expect to see protesting but they were there.

So we make it into the newly opened KFC Yum Center and find our seats. They weren’t close but not bad seats. The first band comes out on stage and I am a little confused the lead singer is wearing a leather jacket, leather chaps, and a leather thong. That was a little much for me. This band was called the Scissor Sisters and by the end of their set I figured out that I liked their music.

Then the girls behind us spilled a beer down one of my friends back. She turned around and told the girl she spilt the drink and the drunk girl decided tom argue and say she didn’t do it. Yet she was the only one drinking.

When Lady Gaga came out the place went nuts. I am not the biggest fan of her music but I have a lot more respect for her and her music now. She dances a lot and she does not lip sing.

I have seen a lot of different acts perform and I would say that this Lady Gaga Concert was one of the best concerts I have ever been to. I would say that it is in the top 3 concerts and I have seen bands like Metallica, Linkin Park, Manson, Snoop Dogg, Ozzy Ozbourne, Korn, and so on.

So as I was telling you in the last post I turned 31 the other day. I received may presents from my wife. We went to dinner with my dad and step mom, and then some of our really great friends. Dinner was a blast just hanging out and talking.

Angela got me a new messenger bag to carry my stuff in, a new golf bag, golf glove, iTunes gift card and stuff to put in my bag. She loves to call my messenger bag a “purse”. It is not a purse it is a MESSENGER Bag. Indiana Jones carried one it was a satchel.

Ok now let us get back on topic. Dinner was at Red Lobster for the all you can eat shrimp. I got my moneys worth, I ate 5 orders of shrimp scampi, and one order of grilled garlic shrimp. It was good, not as good as fresh shrimp but still good.

Saturday we got up, got showered and dressed, then we headed off for St. Louis to the Fox Theatre to see Shrek the Musical. It was fun, the make-up was amazing and we had good seats. I love the Fox

Theatre with all of the woodwork and statues. It has that classic feel that is amazing. That is the 6th or 7th time we have been there.

When we the Play was over I was in contact with Rickie, my friend who was looking after the animals while we were out, he said that the dog doesn’t like him and was scared and pooped all over the place. So instead of going out to dinner which was our original plan we decided it was best to head home to access the situation.

When we got home we had to do some light house cleaning, wash the couch cushion covers, and give the dog a bath. She was better when we got home she calmed down and laid in her bed. She had a rough day.

Sunday we were supposed to go to a Family Reunion for Angela’s family but we didn’t. Angela didn’t feel well and the house was in some dire need of some TLC. So we spent a couple of hours getting some cleaning done. Then to the grocery (where we spent way to much money).

When we got home Angela made some of her nearly Famous Veggie Soup. It was really, really good. Then we tried to watch “Old Dogs”, it wasn’t good.

As a Birthday Weekend I would have to say it was the BEST one yet. Might not sound all that great to you but I loved every minute of it.

While in High School I had this great teacher, I believe that a lot of who I am is because of this teacher. Mr. Larry Frazee had such an impact on my life that I feel like I have succeeded. Now I wasn’t the best kid in the class nor did I try to suck up. It took me years after high school to realize the impact he had on me.

One of the times I was not so good was when I was a sophomore and I was taking mechanical drawing. It is one of those class that teaches you the basics of drafting. Like all kids do we would stick notes on each other’s backs and laugh. The notes would say all kinds of things like “kick me” to calling someone a bad name. This went on for a while.

I was in this class with a lot of friends Chad, Eric, Eddie, Gina, Mark and so many more. Some of these friends I still talk today. So class is going on and it is normal we are working and goofing off. I stick a note on someone’s back everyone laughs. Chad walks up to me a dares me to put a note on Mr. Frazee’s back. I was young, I was dumb but I still knew better. The note I was dared to place on the teachers back said, “I am a FAG”

First off I don’t use that word anymore because it is inappropriate, mean, and just not a nice word but that is what the note says.

Chad dared me to do it and this time in my life I won’t back down from a dare. So I take the note I slowly walk up to Mr. Frazee’s desk lean down ask him a question all while putting this note on his back. (I was a stupid teenager). He answers my question and walk back to my desk, looking at Chad the whole way like now what. I sit down.

I am sitting there proud of myself thinking I got away with it, and I AM THE MAN. When I see him get up walk up to Mr. Frazee and pull the not off of his back. He leans down and tells him something. He stands up and walks back to his desk.

Mr. Frazee looks up and says, “Adam can you come here”

First thing that goes through my mind is thanks Mark W. for ratting me out. I stand up from my desk and walk the lonely road of shame up to his desk with my head hung low. When I arrive I say “yes”

“Did you do this?”

“Yes” I answered.

“Go to the office” he replies and hands me a referral.

I walked back to my desk grab my stuff without talking to anyone. I looked up at Chad and Chad just lowered his head. I walked out of the room and to the office. When I arrive I hand the referral to the secretary and she looks at it. Then tells me that I will have to talk to the principal. See usually disciplinary actions we handle by the vice principal. I started to think this is bad.

I walk into the principal’s office he reads the referral and looks at me and says, “I think this is funny but you are going to have to go home for a couple of days. I will call you mom.”

Great now I am in trouble he is going to call my mom. He calls and tells her what is going on and hangs up. He looks back at me and says, “She said to walk home, go get your stuff and come back here.”

So I do what I am told. When I get back he tells me the I am being suspended for 2 days. I walk out of the office and out of the front doors and head for home. While walking home, it was only 5 blocks, I start thinking what kind of punishment am I going to get. I arrive and walk in the door.

Mom ask, “What did you do?”

I explain everything to her. “Why did you do it?”

“Well Chad dared me to. I can back down from a dare”

“If Chad dared you to jump off a bridge would you” (I hate this question)

“No”

She then told me that I would have to apologize to Mr. Frazee when I got back to school.

The 2 days went by and I returned to school I walked up to Mr. Frazee and said I was sorry and that was that. I had him for 2 more years of high school and still stay in contact with him and he has never brought it up. I think he understood that I was a dumb kid.

The punishment I received for this was nothing, I didn’t get grounded, spanked or anything, the only punishment was that I had to take responsibility and apologize to a man who is special in my life.

Thank you Mr. Frazee

Tomorrow I am taking my niece and nephew to Holiday World f0r their first ever trip. This makes me think back to when I was younger and my first trips their but it wasn’t Holiday World at that time. It was still known by Santa Clause Land.

I can still remember riding the Firecracker, it was a little steel coaster that felt as if it would fall of the track at every corner. I loved that coaster and when they removed it I was sad.

I remember sitting on Santa’s lap. I remember telling him what I wanted for Christmas. I would do it tomorrow if my wife would let me.

I also remember that everytime we would go I would have to get a bull whip from the toy store that is now the Banquet Center. I would keep that thing for months thinking I was Indiana Jones.

Holiday World has come so far since I was a child. A lot of the rides I loved as a child are gone or reworked. The banshee has been replaced by the Hallow Swings, the Louis and Clark cars track has been shortened.

Like they say, you must change to improve. I am happy that Holiday World is growing.

I am so excited about our next trip and seeing my niece and nephew faces when they ride the rides and the slides.

On one of those previously mentioned college visit trips (Click Here) my friend Steve and I drove my mom’s van up there. It was fun I always seemed to have fun with Steve. So we drive up there probably bumping some old school rap. That was the music of choice in High School.

So we get there and we do the lovely tour, this was the third tour for us. There was nothing fun or interesting that happened there. So after we are done there we decide to head to Mt. Carmel which is not to far away from Vincennes if you don’t get lost. We got lost we are driving around and miss are exit. Problem was we never saw are exit. So we kept driving down this highway.

Finally we enter in to this small town, that we are looking for a gas station or anything to get directions when we see a cop. So we drive around the block and pull up next to the cop. I rolled down my window and ask him for directions.

He rolls down his window and yells that I am obstructing his radar. Let it be known that I was the only vehicle on this road. So explain that I am lost and he doesn’t really seem to care, but he gives me directions and we are on our way to Mt. Carmel.

When we arrive in Mt. Carmel we stop by and see my uncle at work, at this time I didn’t know that my aunt and uncle were having problems. We chat with him for a while and find out that my aunt is at home. I decide that we are going to stop by and see her, Steve is ok with it.

So we drive to my aunt’s house, when we arrive Steve and I go up to the door. We knock and no one answers.

We are like ok, so we get back in the van and head to get some lunch. Our original reason for going to Mt. Carmel was that there school had open campus. Open campus is where the students are allowed to leave school property and get lunch elsewhere, whether it be at home or a restaurant.

So we head to a pizza place not only for pizza but high school girls. Problem since we got lost by the time we got to Mt. Carmel lunch was over.

Now you might be thinking what is funny or interesting about this story. Well when I got home my mom is mad, real MAD. I say, “What is wrong, what did I do?”

“Your aunt called, you know what she said”

“No, we went by her house but she wasn’t home”

“Really she says she didn’t answer the door because you 7 guys with you and that you were driving so crazy that the van was on 2 wheels”

I am like, “What? It was me and Steve and no one else.” I have a confused look on my face.

“That is what she said, how can you explain it”

I said, “There is nothing to explain, I didn’t do that.”

“Well this is your aunt ******, she has been known to stretch the truth.”

I say, “Stretch the truth, that is a flat-out lie”

Mom knows when I am lying, I don’t know how or why but I can’t lie to my mom’s face. For some reason I just start laughing. I didn’t do it and didn’t get into any trouble for this. I just think it is funny.

When I was going to college I had a 1991 blue Mazda RX-7, similar to the one on the left. Now I loved this car and if it wouldn’t have broken down I would still be driving it. One day I was driving home from college and was 4 blocks away from home, when I got pulled over by a cop.

He comes up to the car and says, “License and registration.”

I say, “ok” I get it all ready and hand it to him.

He walks back to his car and looks me up. I have nothing on my record and he returns. “Do you know why I pulled you over?”

I reply, “speeding”

“No”

“Running that red light”

“No”

“Passing that person in the left turn only lane”

“No”

“Music was too loud”

“No”

“I’m sorry officer but I have no clue why you pulled me over”

He says, “Well I pulled you over because you don’t have any headlights on.”

“Really”

“Yeah, but since you were so honest with me, I am going to let you go with a verbal warning.”

I said, “Thanks officer” as I reach down and turn on my headlights.

He hands me pack my paperwork and says, “Have a good night.”

“You too”

He walks back to his car and pull away from the curb.